"So... now what are you going to do?"

I've gotten this question a lot since we announced our plans to move from Huntsville, where I was home-schooling my brother, to Birmingham.  People seem to think that now that I'm not teaching Chris anymore I won't have anything to "do" in my new home.  Sometimes the question has even been framed as, "So, will you get a job now?" in that assuming sort of tone that really thinks the answer will (or should) be "yes."  Individually these questions were innocent enough, asked out of curiosity in most cases and concern in others.



But they added up.  And they revealed a subtle (and usually unintentional) cultural mind-set about what exactly the worth is deemed to be of a stay-at-home-wife... with no kids:  not very high.



I'll be the first to admit that there are hours that aren't filled to the brim with productivity.  In fact, last Wednesday I didn't do much at all.  I needed to rest... so I did.  Isn't that wonderful?  Because my husband allows me to stay at home, I don't have to be moving 90 miles a minute.  I don't have to be the do-it-all Super-Woman of feminists' dreams.  I can just sit down and rest!



The idea that visible, tangible results are the only measure of the worth of someone's day is false.  I am not a machine.  Spending time with God, improving my mind through learning and self-education... these are two things that don't produce such results, yet I would argue that they are two of the most important habits that can be developed in my life.



Now--as I wait for children--is the ideal time to develop skills and grow in my knowledge in areas like cooking, decorating, gardening, sewing and other handicrafts, using herbs, financial management, music, foreign language, and reading.  (Not to mention basic organization skills... sheesh.  I need a LOT of work in that area.)  Some days I am overwhelmed by all the things I want to learn about that I despair over not having enough time.

And I haven't even mentioned house-work yet.  Or meal planning and preparation.  Much less volunteering my time in the community, if the opportunity and occasion arises.



So what am I going to do now?  Well, besides all the projects we're doing in the new house, I am going to...

• spend more time in prayer and worship.


• learn to order my day so that I can serve my God and my husband.  


• develop weekly meal plans and actually start cooking real dinners again.  


• tackle the stuff-monster and the dirt-dragon that like to hang around.  


• take violin lessons again as well as continue my visits to Curves.


• begin a Great Books reading course and pick up my Latin studies from high school.  


• continue my attempts at sewing and crocheting.


• start a kitchen garden and learn how to use herbs.


• kick my blog back into action. 

That's what I'm going to do, and I don't need a paycheck to make it worth my while.

"So... now what are you going to do?"

I've gotten this question a lot since we announced our plans to move from Huntsville, where I was home-schooling my brother, to Birmingham.  People seem to think that now that I'm not teaching Chris anymore I won't have anything to "do" in my new home.  Sometimes the question has even been framed as, "So, will you get a job now?" in that assuming sort of tone that really thinks the answer will (or should) be "yes."  Individually these questions were innocent enough, asked out of curiosity in most cases and concern in others.



But they added up.  And they revealed a subtle (and usually unintentional) cultural mind-set about what exactly the worth is deemed to be of a stay-at-home-wife... with no kids:  not very high.



I'll be the first to admit that there are hours that aren't filled to the brim with productivity.  In fact, last Wednesday I didn't do much at all.  I needed to rest... so I did.  Isn't that wonderful?  Because my husband allows me to stay at home, I don't have to be moving 90 miles a minute.  I don't have to be the do-it-all Super-Woman of feminists' dreams.  I can just sit down and rest!



The idea that visible, tangible results are the only measure of the worth of someone's day is false.  I am not a machine.  Spending time with God, improving my mind through learning and self-education... these are two things that don't produce such results, yet I would argue that they are two of the most important habits that can be developed in my life.



Now--as I wait for children--is the ideal time to develop skills and grow in my knowledge in areas like cooking, decorating, gardening, sewing and other handicrafts, using herbs, financial management, music, foreign language, and reading.  (Not to mention basic organization skills... sheesh.  I need a LOT of work in that area.)  Some days I am overwhelmed by all the things I want to learn about that I despair over not having enough time.

And I haven't even mentioned house-work yet.  Or meal planning and preparation.  Much less volunteering my time in the community, if the opportunity and occasion arises.



So what am I going to do now?  Well, besides all the projects we're doing in the new house, I am going to...

• spend more time in prayer and worship.


• learn to order my day so that I can serve my God and my husband.  


• develop weekly meal plans and actually start cooking real dinners again.  


• tackle the stuff-monster and the dirt-dragon that like to hang around.  


• take violin lessons again as well as continue my visits to Curves.


• begin a Great Books reading course and pick up my Latin studies from high school.  


• continue my attempts at sewing and crocheting.


• start a kitchen garden and learn how to use herbs.


• kick my blog back into action. 

That's what I'm going to do, and I don't need a paycheck to make it worth my while.

We're Home!

On March 11, we closed on the house from a few posts down.  The next afternoon, we took possession.  What an adventure!  We've been sleeping on an air-mattress since then and eating on a folding table.  Stuff is piled in random nooks and crannies, waiting for us to bring the shelves and drawers that would normally store it.  But I'm making myself wait for the full move-in until we've completed a few projects.  (What I miss having near the most are my books, though I did bring all my Jane Austens along.)



To date, we've cleaned the house from top to bottom (somehow when it's "your" dirt it's okay, but not when it's someone else's, haha), repainted the basement den, and torn out the walls in the basement pantry.  We weren't counting on having to do that last one, but we discovered that the master shower was dripping into the pantry ceiling and walls.  Much mold ensued.  So Trevvor had fun being a small-scale demolition man for an evening (he discovered some crazy 70's linoleum under the carpet and a dead mouse in the wall), and now we're about to seal the leak in the shower before re-walling the pantry with something a little more water-proof (especially since that's where our laundry hook-up is).



Other projects we'll do before fully moving in are:

1. Tile the basement


2. Repaint the master bedroom


3. Put hardwood/bamboo/laminate floors in the living room, hallway, and master


4. Add some crown molding in the living room and master

Once we've moved into the main rooms that we use, we'll repaint the two extra bedrooms and re-floor them as well.  In the long-run, we'd like to re-do the kitchen walls & floor and take out the wallpaper in the hall bath & just paint it a solid color in order to mute the fun gold-yellow tile.



We'd saved quite a bit more than we needed for our down-payment, and Trevvor and I will be doing all the labor ourselves, but we're trying to be pretty tight-fisted so we can do all these things before furniture and kids come along (though if God decided to send me a baby before we got done, I'd be more than thrilled).  Looks like I need to visit "Money Saving Mom" a bit more frequently....

We're Home!

On March 11, we closed on the house from a few posts down.  The next afternoon, we took possession.  What an adventure!  We've been sleeping on an air-mattress since then and eating on a folding table.  Stuff is piled in random nooks and crannies, waiting for us to bring the shelves and drawers that would normally store it.  But I'm making myself wait for the full move-in until we've completed a few projects.  (What I miss having near the most are my books, though I did bring all my Jane Austens along.)



To date, we've cleaned the house from top to bottom (somehow when it's "your" dirt it's okay, but not when it's someone else's, haha), repainted the basement den, and torn out the walls in the basement pantry.  We weren't counting on having to do that last one, but we discovered that the master shower was dripping into the pantry ceiling and walls.  Much mold ensued.  So Trevvor had fun being a small-scale demolition man for an evening (he discovered some crazy 70's linoleum under the carpet and a dead mouse in the wall), and now we're about to seal the leak in the shower before re-walling the pantry with something a little more water-proof (especially since that's where our laundry hook-up is).



Other projects we'll do before fully moving in are:

1. Tile the basement


2. Repaint the master bedroom


3. Put hardwood/bamboo/laminate floors in the living room, hallway, and master


4. Add some crown molding in the living room and master

Once we've moved into the main rooms that we use, we'll repaint the two extra bedrooms and re-floor them as well.  In the long-run, we'd like to re-do the kitchen walls & floor and take out the wallpaper in the hall bath & just paint it a solid color in order to mute the fun gold-yellow tile.



We'd saved quite a bit more than we needed for our down-payment, and Trevvor and I will be doing all the labor ourselves, but we're trying to be pretty tight-fisted so we can do all these things before furniture and kids come along (though if God decided to send me a baby before we got done, I'd be more than thrilled).  Looks like I need to visit "Money Saving Mom" a bit more frequently....