NO STRINGS ATTACHED

If we are truly serious in our desire to live a life in union with our Lord we will continue to strive towards detachment from earthly things. We will also try to do away with habitual faults that deter us from making headway in our quest for holiness. For as long as we keep on with our "personal strings" in our lives we will have a hard time progressing in our journey towards a closer and intimate relationship with God. This Lenten season is a great opportunity to reflect on these personal strings and try to overcome them through prayer and fasting.

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NO STRINGS ATTACHED [1]
By Fr. Nil Guillemette, S. J.

“A voluntary, deliberate choice (against God’s will),
however slight the object, prevents not
only union, but all progress.”

- St. John of the Cross,
The Ascent of Mount Carmel,
bk. 1, ch.11

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THEY WERE a deeply committed Christian couple. They had been faithful to each other throughout the years, had raised their three children as best they could, had gotten involved in various social and charitable causes. That evening they had attended their monthly talk on Carmelite Lay Spirituality, given by a Carmelite priest. And the two of them, Max and Sylvia, had listened most attentively to what the speaker had to say.

That evening he had expounded on the absolute necessity of detachment from sin for any real spiritual progress to be made. In the wake of St. John of the Cross’ teaching, he had insisted that the object or matter of a given sin could be very small, but that nevertheless it created an insurmountable obstacle to progress in intimacy with God since, by its very nature, sin is a “no” to the will of God, a deliberate choice not to give God what he is asking. Saying “no” to God and loving Him simultaneously are impossible. The examples given were: being demanding and fastidious over food; indulging in tittle-tattle and gossip; preferring a person’s company to what we know is God’s will at a given moment; and so forth.

At one point the speaker had brought up John of the Cross’ famous metaphor of the string: whether a bird is tied down by a cable or by a mere string, it doesn’t matter, for the end-result is the same, it cannot fly. Likewise in the life of the soul: if we remain enslaved even to a small choice against God’s will, we cannot progress towards him.

The talk was now over, and Max and Sylvia were back home, holding a postmortem on the talk over a light snack. Sylvia was the first to steer the conversation into the area of personal applications.

“You know, Max,” she said half-smiling and half-serious, “I think I’ve got a string in my life.”

Max was surprised. He knew his wife so well he couldn’t imagine that a woman of her total dedication to the things of God could have a disorderly attachment in her life, something that would create an obstacle to her intimacy with God.

“Oh? Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m pretty sure. It’s those cheap novels I love to read every day; you know those pocketbooks of detective stories, romance, science fiction?”

“But there’s nothing wrong in that! Those books are not immoral or anything.”

“No – it’s just that they’re such a loss of time. Just think that I easily spend two hours a day reading such books, while I could be doing any number of more useful things for the Kingdom.”

He didn’t insist. come to think of it, it was true that Sylvia had been addicted to reading pocketbooks for years, sometimes neglecting more urgent things in order to satisfy her passion. But now that the children were grown up and that she had more time on her hands, he had figured that she could indulge herself in her innocent pastime. Nonetheless, if the Spirit was moving her towards abstention, he would certainly try to give her the support she would need.

“Anyway,” he said, “it’s up to you, honey. Just be sure it’s not going to be too difficult for you. After all, the Lord’s yoke is supposed to be easy and his burden light.”

She was grateful for his understanding. Max was truly a man of God, she thought with admiration, and she always discovered new aspects of his utter dedication to the service of God and his fellowmen. She didn’t imagine he had any strings keeping him from spiritual progress.

“By the way,” he continued after a pause, “I think I’ve got a string too.”

“Are you serious?” she asked in astonishment.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s about my habit of watching TV every evening until past midnight .”

“But you’re not doing anything wrong either.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. You know how lousy I feel in the morning when I get up. I’m a bit cranky at breakfast – or at least sullen. I’m so sleepy at the wheel when I drive to work that I’m a public menace. Then it takes me part of the morning to reach my cruising speed on the job. No, honey, I’ve become aware of these things lately – after years of not really noticing anything wrong: strange, isn’t it? – and now I know in my bones that God wants me to do something about it.”

“Like what, do you think?”

“Well, like turning off the TV after the ten o’clock news, for instance. Yeah, I think that’s what I’m going to do.”

She didn’t protest. She had too much respect for his sterling honesty and level-headedness. If he figured he had too much TV he was probably right.

“Okay, Max,” she said. “I’ll second you on that. But just make sure you’re not more cranky at breakfast for having missed your favorite programs.”

She was joking, of course, because Max was very even-tempered, at least exteriorly. They both laughed.

“Well then,” he said in conclusion, “do we agree to both work on our personal string at least for a trial period? Then we can evaluate and see if we made the right decision.”

They agreed on a one-month period.

The following month was difficult for both of them. At times Sylvia thought she would go crazy without her novels. And so, in order to fill the horrible void in her life (she was really surprised at the strength of her addiction) she took up meditation and spiritual reading on a much more regular basis, began visiting old ladies in her neighborhood and doing their shopping for them, got involved in voluntary assistance to the handicapped, enrolled in an Art course at the university, and in general progressed enormously in her awareness of God’s presence in her life.

On his part, Max experienced a similar deepening of his closeness to God – apart from feeling much moiré alert and alive when he got up in the morning. He also found he had more time to pray, to relax, to enjoy Sylvia’s company. But these benefits were not gained without a fierce struggle on his part. And there was many a time when he would turn off the TV after the ten o’clock news only with the greatest reluctance.

At the end of the month they compared notes. They both observed that the sacrifice they had made had cost them terribly – much more that they had anticipated – but that it was well worth it. And so, they decided to hold themselves to their resolution, come what may. this they did, and their spiritual progress continued with great intensity, allowing of course for the inevitable ups and downs of Christian life. Thus a year passed.

When the time came for Max’s annual vacation, they decided to spend it driving around the country, so as to admire nature’s beauty. Their three grow-up children came to see them off on their trip.

Just as they were leaving the driveway, one of the children shouted to them.

“Hey! Drive carefully there! It’s easy to get killed on those superhighways.”

“We know,” Sylvia shouted back with a laugh, “but we’re ready to die.”

Those were their parting words. And also their last message to their loved ones, for they never came back from that trip. Both were killed instantaneously when a big truck rammed their car at full speed.

Afterwards, Sylvia’s last words, “we’re ready to die,” were repeated at the eulogy delivered during the funeral. And every one there who knew them agreed: Max and Sylvia at the end of their lives had both reached the point when they belonged totally to God, never refusing him anything. No strings were holding them back. They were ready to meet him.

End Notes

1. Fr. Nil Guillemette, S. J., “Arise, My Love – God Tales for Young and Old”, St. Paul Publications, Makati , Philippines , 1991, Chapter 20, pp. 99-103.

2. I have Fr. Nil's permission to use his stories via his letter to me dated Feb. 10, 2001: "In answer to your letter of Feb. 1, which I received yesterday, I gladly give you permission to use my stories in your bible sharings. However, in order to discourage any illegal pirating from unscrupulous readers, please always add the proper reference (author, publisher, book, pages, etc.). "